Safe Sex Tips Negotiating

If you go to some of the safe sex condom first websites they provide scripts for teens to say to partners who try to talk them out of using a condom.

They give you these role playing dramas are a public service; however they were written for adolescents so here they are upgraded for thugporn blog readers.

Short of small arms, try first these lines first as your partner tries to outsmart you out of safe sex with condom use:

When Your Partner Says: What's that?
Tell Him: A banana baggie because I'm so damn glad to see. A condom, retard.

When Your Partner Says: What for?
Tell Him: To fill up with water and drop on people. For sex, stupid.

When Your Partner Says: Like hell, I'm gonna use it.
Tell Him: (While reaching for your small arms.) Why the fuck not?

When Your Partner Says: I've never used a condom before. Don't you trust me?
Tell Him: As far as the next room. People carry STD?s without knowing it.

When Your Partner Says: I don't have AIDS. (Jr. knows - he got tested like last year and he's been so very careful since)
Tell Him: Condoms prevent more than AIDS like hepatitis C which kills you.

When Your Partner Says: Condoms just ain't sexy.
Tell Him: I know, sharing viruses is really hot.

When Your Partner Says: Having sex with a rubber on is like taking a shower in a parka or puffing blunts made out of oregano.
Tell Him: Sex without a rubber is like sharing needles in the Lower East Side, strolling through Baghdad with an American flag painted on your ass.

When Your Partner Says: With a condom, I don't feel nothing.
Tell Him: Rubbers let you last longer, instead of always giving out so quickly

When Your Partner Says: It don't stay hard when I put it under wraps.
Tell Him: But a few KS legions would help?

When Your Partner Says: Putting it on interrupts everything.
Tell Him: Nothing like the bong hits and lines you frequently stop to do?

When Your Partner Says: I'll try, but it might not work.
Tell Him: I can find someone to practice with while you figure it out, Holmes.

When Your Partner Says: But I love you. (So we dont need a condom)
Tell Him: Fuck off!!!

When Your Partner Says: I guess this means you don't really love me.
Tell Him: Say that again and I'll tell my other boyfriend (Thugzilla) you're not using condoms.

Notice how insinuation, insult and outright blackmail were used in order to coerce the partner into modifying his behavior rather than allowing him to attempt to murder you.

If these tactics fail, the threat of force, violence and brandishing weapons are also very effective.

Ignorantia veritis non excusats!

Don't make it all Latin to you:

In court there's an old saying (from our Roman forebears):

Ignorantia juris non excusat.

This may be all Latin to you too and too bad our legal system isn't based on the Greeks, because I know some great jokes:

(Why did the Greek leave his home?

He didn't like the way his father reared him!

Why did he return?

He couldn't leave his brothers behind!)

Bear with me as we go back to our forebears, the Romans.

Ignorantia juris non excusat.

This translates to "Saying I didn't know it wasn't legal" is BS - you cannot use this as a non-guilty plea.

Maybe now you know why this column is authored by me, Dick Degree!

So back to our headline: Ignorantia veritis non excusat.

This means - "Just because I'm a dipshit, that don't let me off the hook!"

And I translated the word figuratively because just because you may be engaged in sexual practices that do not entail penis to vaginal intercouse, you are not exempt.

Other activities that involve your penis may spread a lot of unwanted STD's to you or your partner.

All orifices considered, STD's can penetrate the delicate intestinal wall and if your partner is long enough even the esophagus, so like Q-tips, the only place to stick an unprotected penis is in your ear. (except apparently Q-tips prefers you only use a penis and not their product!)

Why gamble on one sexual escapade whose heights you may forget by tomorrow and contract a disease whose lows will haunt you every day for the rest of your life?

Unless you know your partners sexual history, don't roll the dice.

Partners who care have a rubber they wear!

And he refuses - there's a much safer bet waiting 'round the bend if you play your cards right and bide your time.

STD's - Let's nip them in the butt! Ignorance is no defense!

Diseases a condom has a 99% or more percent chance of preventing:
HIV - the virus that causes AIDS
Hepatitus C - the lethal disease that unlike AIDS has no known cure
HPV - human papaloma virus which causes Warts and is linked to cervical cancer - and condoms prevent a whole host more of STD's which you would care not to host!

Is Safe Sex A Winner, Or Just A Stalemate?

You know the jokes:

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, (while your membership still throbs)

Masturbation? Well go ahead and knock my hobbies!

During my first sexual experience I was so nervous -- I was all alone! (a gay porn moment?)

At least masturbation is sex with someone I love except that my only regret in life is that I wasn't someone else ....

Truth is, the safest sex is practiced by those who perform it solo or dead (unless they are martyrs for Allah and busy upstairs with their 86 virgins - but I never got that part 86 virgins? - I'd rather have a few lovers who picked up some interesting tips along the way ...)

This makes masturbation the hands down (or hands up and down) winner.

Now you maybe thinking we've got a bridge to sell you. In this case, you're not going off half-cocked.

We do thrive on making you throb by selling you gay hardcore thugporn DVD with Tiger Tyson and other thug porn stars with big black dicks (hey boss, I just got all the SEO terms into this column) or putting it on your little computer monitors where you can cream to the streams.

But some of you still insist on having sex with live partners other than your life partner - you wicked people. (Or just another one of those stranded by the ship of state Christians too chickenshit to admit that God made everyone in God's image - which means God made Gays whose unions are just as blessed.

Which means until you get hitched to a life long partner, you will be practicing sex with people whose sexual histories are hard to squeeze into the moments between downing that last cocktail at the club and that hopeful moment where you learn the real details of his cock.

Yes, your safest bet is not bringing him to bed in the first place until you get to know him a little better. But your next best play is to insist on a condom. Here's some stupid slogans

No prophylaction - no friction!
No rubber - no emission of flubber!
No latex - no play, Tex!
No bag - no ... go ahead make the joke,
face those who will make them at your expense for insisting on a condom,

But don't be the butt of their joke, or worse their sexually transmitted disease.

Please!

Diseases a condom has a 99% or more percent chance of preventing:
HIV - the virus that causes AIDS
Hepatitus C - the lethal disease that unlike AIDS has no known cure
HPV - human papaloma virus which causes Warts and is linked to cervical cancer
And a whole host more of STD's.